Boost Your Pet Parent Empathy to Reduce Pet Trauma During Routine and Urgent Care

Do you ever feel like you can't help scaring, upsetting or even traumatizing your pet during routine and urgent care? 

Is curbing unwanted or dangerous pet behaviors impacting the deep bond you and your pet share? 

Not to worry - the Holistic Cat Specialist is here to help!

Tune in as Shannon chats with Paola Zanibelli Davies about simple small shifts you can make at home that can have a big positive ripple effect in your pet's life with you.

During this episode, we talk through: 

• What the word empathy truly means
• Simple shifts that can activate your pet parent empathy
• Life with you from your pet's perspective
• A paradigm shift in deepening your bond with your pet
• Managing your energy to help your pet deal and heal
• How setting intentions can drive lasting positive change
• What to do when you don't know what to do to help your pet

About Paola Zanibelli Davies and the Holistic Cat Specialist: Paola is a Doctor in Psychology, trained in Advanced Feline Behaviour Management, Nutrition and Holistic Care and certified by the American Association of Veterinary State Boards as a Holistic Pet Health Coach. She is originally Italian but has lived abroad (in several countries) for over 25 years: she has worked with cats and their human parents for about 10 years, at first in person, and now that she is based in Wales (UK), online, through 1-on-1 services and an affordable membership. She is both a cat mum of 4 Arabian Mau rescues (all saved from the streets of Dubai), and a holistic practitioner who specializes in cats ONLY. Paola's mission is to help proactive cat parents expand their options beyond traditional vet care when it comes to supporting the health of their cats, and she does this by teaching a hands-on approach to cat care that empowers cat guardians to use herbal remedies, nutraceuticals, great nutrition, and simple but useful home practices to up their cat parenting skills. 

Contact: https://theholisticcatspecialist.com

YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@PaolaZanibelliDavies

Freebie:  https://www.theholisticcatspecialist.com/5StepsToLongevity   

Offering: Become part of The Holistic Cat Club for 50% OFF through this link: https://www.theholisticcatspecialist.com/offers/8ACCRHJz?coupon_code=HANDSON

Chapters

• 0:14 Welcome and Introduction
• 2:21 Meet Shannon Cutts
• 22:34 Guest Introduction: Paola
• 35:00 Understanding Pet Parent Empathy
• 1:10:15 The Importance of a Stress
• 2:09:10 Looking Through Your Pet's Eyes
• 3:18:30 Breakthrough Moments in Understanding Cats
• 4:28:59 Managing Energy During Pet Care
• 14:47:11 Special Offer for Listeners

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Welcome to let's Talk to Animals. My name is Shannon Cutts. I'm an animal sensitive and intuitive, a Reiki master practitioner and an animal communication teacher, and if you're watching the video version, you are meeting my ever-present, feathered sidekick, petal Cutts, who is my enthusiastic co-host, emcee and maestro of special effects. And here today on the podcast, we have a very special treat. I have a friend with me. Her name is Paola and I'm going to share just a little bit about her. So welcome, paola. We are so delighted to have you.

Speaker 2: 0:33

Hello Shannon.

Speaker 1: 0:34

I'm so happy to be here, Paola is the holistic cat specialist and we are going to be talking about boosting pet parent empathy to reduce pet trauma. That's a mouthful right. About boosting pet parent empathy to reduce pet trauma. That's a mouthful right. Boosting pet parent empathy. Empathy meaning to feel as if or to suffer with, literally to take a walk in our animal's paws or claws or wings or feathers or shell. And Paola's specialty is cats, but she is certainly so empathic to all animals and all of nature. Cats, but she is certainly so empathic to all animals and all of nature. And she has a specialty to help pet parents, help their felines to find calm when we're dealing with what we might want to call day-to-day trauma, necessary things, crating for the car, vet visits, recovery after illness or injury, special needs, special health issues. Paolo is actually a doctor in psychology. She's trained in advanced feline behavior management, nutrition and holistic care. She's certified by the American Association of Veterinary State Boards as a holistic pet health coach and she has a beautiful membership, as well as her private practice and her teaching, where you can learn about how to create a continuity of care for your cats that is stress and trauma free for you both.

Speaker 1: 1:54

Now I'm going to post Paola's full bio, because it's really fun to read through and you're not going to want to miss it.

Speaker 1: 1:59

So I'll post that in the show notes. But today I want to dive right in and we are going to help you, especially if you're a feline parent. But even if you don't have cats in the home, if you have birds or turtles or dogs or horses, I want you to try this same perspective on for size to take a walk in your pets day to day and in those special days special with air quotes, days when we are facing down a vet visit or obedience training or enforcing the household rules or door dashers or standing on the counters where there might be dangers, such as hot liquids or a hot stove and we're going to take a walk through our world looking through your pet's eyes and experiencing it through their perspective. So, paola, welcome. I am so excited to have you here on let's Talk to Animals and I want to open up the conversation with a little exploration of your unique approach to pet parent empathy how the pet parents and the cat parents that you serve have experienced breakthrough moments in understanding their own pet's perspective.

Speaker 2: 3:16

Hi Shannon again, and I'm really, really excited to be here talking about this. This is one of my favorite topics because everybody is happy to have cats when they are happy and content and there is no trouble on the horizon. But when there is something going on and they're facing a crisis, and whether it is a behavior crisis or a health crisis and things need to be put in place, that's when things get stressful for cat parents and especially. Cats are in this very particular position where they occupy our house and our environment in a very special way. They can climb furniture, they can climb places, they love to climb places. In fact, they live three-dimensionally. So dogs are a little bit more on the ground, they live in two dimensions, but cats are very much. They're very much everywhere in the house and they can hide very well.

Speaker 2: 4:19

And famous is the story of people trying to find their cats and going out thinking that they have escaped, and hours, maybe days later sometimes they come out of the cupboard going what's the matter? I was just thinking it. I hope it's not days later, because they would have not been eating, but yes, it's something that we need to keep in mind that they occupy our space in a very special way. It's something that we need to keep in mind that they occupy our space in a very special way. So, yes, I think one of the biggest shifts that I see in the cat guardians that I work with is when they stop seeing or simply needs that have been not met, because we share an environment that is human-made and we need to make a bit of effort to make it so that our cats live in this environment with us in a way that their needs are met, because these beautiful creatures I know I'm biased, but because I love cats, obviously but these beautiful creatures are wild at heart and they are happy to share the environment with us, which is really really they're doing us a favor, because they use the litter box most of the time and when their needs are met, they use the litter box without fail and they eat from the bowl that we provide or the mat that we provide, and they simply ask in return that we supply that environment that stimulates their needs and their life in a way that is acceptable. But they are really good at mixing with us in a human-made environment and, of course, some people like to let their cats out to roam free because they believe that they are so wild and they are so independent, which they are independent at heart. They are wild at heart, but they're also in a place where sometimes dangers are lurking everywhere. So we need to make a compromise at that point where we definitely need to ensure that they are stimulated and the environment is diverse, but we also need to keep in mind the risks and the safety that it involves to have them as pets, and obviously we are carers at that point. So caring for them means also providing safety and obviously, at the same time, stimulation, because that's that's really important.

Speaker 2: 7:06

So, for example, I work with a cat parent that was really frustrated because her cat refused to get into the carrier, the. The typical scenario is when the carrier is never used unless you're going to the vets or unless you're going, maybe, to a grooming facility, potentially, or a facility where they like a cuttery where they keep the cat while you are away, for people that don't use pet sitters, for example. And so the cutter that was was not the cat was not happy to go into the carrier and she was getting very frustrated because every time it was a bit of a battle the cat ran away. She didn't want to chase the cat but at the same time she had to yank the cat from under the bed and it was really painful to hear and it was really, you know, really something that can be avoided, and I know that many people struggle with these sort of things. But well, we worked together and she started to realize that from her cat perspective. We worked together and she started to realize that, from her perspective, the carrier was a literally a predictor of stressful and scary experiences and because it was obviously only used during those experiences.

Speaker 2: 8:28

And once she understood that, then we started to approach the crate differently. So we started to turn into a cozy place where it was like a little retreat, where her cat could play. We used play therapy. Also, we used elements from the environment and I like to use herbs and natural remedies. This is one of my biggest passions and I use different kinds of herbs at different times. They are all very, very safe, especially at the dose that I recommend. And, yeah, we use the herbs, we use the plate therapy, we use purification in the environment to allow the cat to have a different experience with that carrier.

Speaker 2: 9:02

And once she understood that that was the shift that she needed to make. Well then, we definitely saw a different response to this situation where it was very transformational of a sudden, after a while trying to do things differently, the moment she had to use the carrier, basically the cat walked in on his own. So it was really impressive to see the difference that the different approach made to the situation because, also, she started to realize that every opportunity was an opportunity also to have fun with her cat, instead of something like a chore that she had to complete or to do to obtain a certain outcome. Let's say so, yes, that was the power of stepping into her cat's perspective in this situation.

Speaker 1: 9:56

I love it because if every time I was needing to go to the dentist or the doctor or the hairstylist, somebody trotted out a small barred enclosure, I would have thought to myself, oh geez, they're putting me in jail again. This is never a good thing. So it's like really kind of simplifying things, taking the mystique out of the outward facing differences Like yes, our cat has a different size, different shape. Differences Like yes, our cat has a different size, different shape, different body, but on the inside, the psychology of it, it's not so different. And what's so neat about your work is that I think I shared with you that when I asked the animals what the word pet means, why we call them a pet, a beautiful example of how our animals elevate our consciousness and help us reconnect with the whole and with ourselves.

Speaker 1: 10:49

I had to go to the dentist yesterday and I really dislike going to the dentist and so afterwards, since I have to put myself in my own carrier and drive myself there and pay, I always give myself a little treat. I went thrifting. Sometimes it's a cupcake, sometimes it's a coffee, sometimes it's thrifting, sometimes it's a cupcake, sometimes it's a coffee, sometimes it's thrifting, sometimes it's going to the crystal shop and we really are so much more alike than different. I loved how you opened up and you were sharing. Yes, cats are wild and I was thinking to myself so are we in that we have these primal instincts and we can't really turn them off? But we can modulate them. And I love the idea of turning the transportation device shall we say, not the prison, but the safe transportation device into a haven and a cozy place of refuge.

Speaker 1: 11:38

And on that note, I want to ask you you have worked with so many interspecies families.

Speaker 1: 11:44

I want to ask you you have worked with so many interspecies families? I regularly refer my animal communication pet parents to you when their cats have special needs or when something comes up in a session and I've become aware that they may need some remedy or some support that I'm not trained in. And I feel like you have this deep awareness that cats give up a lot to live in our world, that cats give up a lot to live in our world. When you think about all the animals alive on this planet today that do not carry a soul contract or a soul agreement to keep any kind of significant company with humans, there's this small subsection of non-human animals that literally agree in advance to give up most of their basic rights and their freedoms to live with us. I would love to hear your insights from working with so many pet parents around the world. How can we better honor their sacrifice and just get a deeper understanding of what they're giving up to be with us?

Speaker 2: 12:37

The beautiful point and I just wanted to say that, first of all, I love your acronym of PET as in a partner, and that includes empathy and teaching, because, honestly, my cats and my pets in general have been my biggest teachers and, yes, you have to be maybe tuned in enough to pick up the lessons, but they teach us so much and so that's a beautiful definition of this world that I really really like. And what they give up by living with us, I mean there is a lot that they gain as well, but they also give up a lot, as I. Yes, as I alluded before a little bit Basically, they for sure, they are by nature, they're in that particular position in nature, in the wild, of being a predator and a prey at the same time. So their senses are really developed, because they need to have developed senses, they need to be very aware of their surroundings and what's happening, and they also are very much into hunting, and hunting is made of different phases, so it's not just the catching the prey, there are different phases that go into the hunting process. So even just the stalking or the planning of how they're going to get that prey, so when they observe and when they pounce. That's another phase, and so it's not necessarily just the act of catching the prey. There is a whole lot that comes before that and after. So the hunting process is fundamental for felines and for our cats in particular. So we don't want to take that completely away from them just because they live with us.

Speaker 2: 15:33

So when people have dogs, for example, and it's very clear to them for some reason that dogs need to walk, and generally people are pretty good at taking their dogs for a walk, at least a walk every day, I mean I see some neighbors going at six in the morning, even if it's raining, and so, you know, the walk becomes something that they wouldn't give up because they know the dogs. But then we have cats, and we tend to have cats in the house that lay around and we think that they're independent and they do their own thing. And we why would we take our cats for a walk? Obviously I took my cat for a walk because I had a cat that was that loved the leash and loved to go out for a walk, and he asked me at the door. He would sit at the door and would wait for me every day. We had a ritual going on, and so it depends what you the door. It would wait for me every day. We had a ritual going on, and so it depends on what your cats like and what they are like, but this is actually something that is possible, but in some situations.

Speaker 2: 16:34

But, yes, we think, well, we don't need to take them for a walk, they have a house to go around and so they don't really need anything, so they're just going to do their own thing. However, we don't realize that they still need to hunt, and hopefully we don't have live mice in the house or live prey. I mean, sometimes we get maybe a bug running around or flying around, but usually they don't have that wild opportunity to engage in this process, which is absolutely fundamental for them. So we definitely need to make an effort to play with them in a way that allows them to mimic that behavior that they would have in the wild, because this ensures that they are happy at heart and then they can sleep and they can eat and they can do the other things that cats love to do, and they're going to be much more balanced because of that.

Speaker 2: 17:30

So this is one of the things that they give up when they are not free in the wild, for example, and also for cats, the sense of control is very important. So I'm not saying that they have to have control over everything. This is not absolutely not what I am saying, because we live in an environment together and I structure my training and I believe firmly that I have the experience to witness this that we can totally set boundaries and we can totally have a compromise, but with our cats. But it's also true that the sense of control is very important to cats. So we don't want to take that completely away, and when they live with us, they tend to have less control over when they eat, what they eat, obviously, because we feed them and it's a lot of that responsibility that we take on our shoulders but they get taken away from. So it becomes, for example, if there is also an overwhelming situation also, they can't really get away from it autonomously. So we need to be aware of what's going on energetically in the house as well Other animals, kids, other visitors.

Speaker 2: 18:46

All this puts pressure on our cats and we need to understand that they need an escape route if they need to leave the place, leave the room, and so even if we provide the safety and the comfort of a home, then we also need to look at the things that they are giving up and we need to allow for choice and always make sure that they have different rest in place, more than one litter box Usually. That's another thing. It's advised everywhere. If you Google how many litter boxes you need, generally the advice is always one per cat plus one, and we don't take into account that actually we mean places where the litter boxes are situated and not just the litter box itself. So that doesn't mean that you have, if you have five cats, it doesn't mean that you have six litter boxes in one room. It means that you actually have six different locations where your cats can go and choose to do their business, because they need the resources that they would find outside in a, in a, obviously compatibly with your space and the way your house is is arranged.

Speaker 2: 19:53

But, yes, they need as much as possible the resources that are that matter the most to them, that they would find, for example, outside, and so definitely offering different resting places, as I said, different heights that they would use because they love to climb different things, like, for example, where they eat, is not just putting down a bowl and walk away, but having rituals that go with the eating process, providing different things like food puzzles, so that they allow them to have fun with the food and to use their brain to get the food out. And it doesn't have to be always the food puzzle, but if you introduce that in their routine, that could be another thing that enriches their environment, so that they don't have to give up everything completely. They can find inside some of the things that they would otherwise normally find outside. So, yes, there is also a need for safety and predictability, of course, which I think they have probably more inside with us than outside, but the predictability is an important element.

Speaker 2: 21:00

So we really want to be predictable for our cats. We want them to know what's coming next. We don't want to change things around too much, too soon, too often, so we want them to be able to count on our behavior and the way things are going in the house in a way that they are stable and predictable. So, yes, variety and predictability they're two things that have to go at the same time, not instead of one or the other. So, yes, variety and predictability there are two things that have to go at the same time, not instead of one or the other. But, yes, these are all needs that we can't really ignore, because we don't want to take all the control away from them. We want them to have some control over the environment and we want them to have this sense of agency, really, and so that the shifts that we make allow them to lower their stress and to trust us more, because obviously this is important for our relationship.

Speaker 1: 21:54

Sure, and you know what really comes up as I'm listening to this again more alike than different, and how we naturally go through this process. When we take on a human partner, we naturally give up certain freedoms, give up a portion of our say, of our control, and we do it willingly Most of the time. I'll just tiptoe out on that little branch there most of the time with at least some awareness of why, what's in it for us and how this process of negotiation, compromise, will actually create more fulfilling life over the long term. We also have that longer term perspective. What's so interesting with cats is that, yes, they do have a certain sense I totally agree with you, and I remember we were chatting a little bit about this a couple of weeks ago as well. They totally get a certain degree of maybe safety and predictability living indoors with us that maybe they wouldn't find outside, but so many of the perils they don't see as perils, and I think that really plays in.

Speaker 1: 23:05

I think that's also where the synergy comes between the work that I do as an intuitive and communicator and your work as this holistic I mean you have so many hats that you can wear with the herbs and the understanding of the natural biology and the trauma control and all of the different resources in your membership and community, but so much of the negotiation, it feels like, is simply helping our cats understand that's not safe, that interesting thing that you would naturally go play with in the wild or go investigate or go explore, that's hot or that's deadly, that will shock you, burn you, run you over, and so the negotiation process gets that much harder. And I saw this with my rescue kitten, momo, and I see it every day with my little kitten with wings over here, miss petal. In a way, she's a lot like a feline. She doesn't necessarily climb, although she does like to climb a lot, but she can fly, and so it's like ceiling fans thinking about some different perils and trying to help her understand. That's actually dangerous and it feels like that's a huge part of the negotiation is it's like? I know that's fascinating and it could kill you, therefore, therefore, so how does that play in with the negotiation when you have a very persistent feline, for instance, who just they just don't understand?

Speaker 2: 24:27

okay.

Speaker 2: 24:28

Well, there are different views on this because sometimes, sometimes there are some training techniques that are not to be used for normal behavioral modification, and some people like to use these things because they're a little bit shocking, but for things that need to be taught for sure, definitely they make a mark, or they definitely they make a mark.

Speaker 2: 25:03

These are those techniques that involve a negative reinforcement or a punishment, for example, which doesn't mean that you punish your cat. It means that, for example, you create a stimulus that shocks your cat, that startles your cat, so that they lose focus on what they are doing and they sort of come back to you. So at that point I would say that if you have a situation where you really want your cat to stop making a noise or clapping your hands or using your voice in a startling manner, you don't have to shout at them, as, in you know, you're not reprehending them, you're just making a noise to startle them so that they come out of that focus and that, yeah, the tunnel vision sort of focus, that they have towards that thing.

Speaker 2: 25:47

So, for example, things like this I would say justify to them when there is a door open and they're running through the door. Well, or you can see that they're going to run through the door because outside is dangerous. There are cars maybe going. Obviously, cats do not understand that sometimes cars are really dangerous.

Speaker 2: 26:10

And they're dangerous in many ways. A local cat jumped into a car that was not running him over. It was just parked, but they closed. It was just parked, but they closed. It was a van. They closed the van, the builders closed the van, jumped in, went and they were like from an hour away. And when they opened the van the cat jumped out and all of a sudden it was completely lost in a place that wasn't his home and it was an hour away. So for the family it was also very difficult to go and search for this cat because it was an hour away. So for the family it was also very difficult to go and search for this cat because it was an hour away.

Speaker 2: 26:42

So obviously, all of a sudden you have to.

Speaker 2: 26:44

You know it's logistically difficult to do that.

Speaker 2: 26:47

So there are some dangers out there that I would say is justified to use the startling, the startling technique where or, for example, you are introducing cats or you have two cats that get along normally, but you can see that there is some tension there, or the play becomes a little bit too rough and at that point if you don't want this to escalate, you don't really want to put your hands in there, necessarily, but without having an active participation in the fight or in the conflict.

Speaker 2: 27:19

You can startle them from away by making a noise, clapping your hands or saying something, and all of a sudden you really see your cats immediately looking at you, generally going what is going on and you know why. Are you picking on my attention now and what else do I need to do? And then you can distract them. So it is key to be able to distract them and to stop them from what they're doing when there is a situation that is dangerous. Other times, when it's just a matter of simply wanting to change a behavior, you can be a little bit softer obviously it makes so much sense that really touches on the role of the pet guardian or the pet parent.

Speaker 1: 28:03

There are guidelines and then there are rules, and what's so interesting is, with something like a clap or a snap of the fingers, it's associating that scary or dangerous thing with a potentially negative stimuli, and so it is, in a way, an opportunity to share the sensory truth about that item, the emotional truth about that item, which is that's dangerous because they're already tuned in with us. So they're already tuned in with, oh, mom or dad or guardian is having heightened anxiety. So now we're saying, no, it's not about you, I'm not feeling this negative emotion or sensory impression about you. It's about that thing, it's about this situation that could be dangerous. So it's a form of communication that's necessary and hopefully not necessary often, but when it is necessary it's part of our job. People tend to want to tiptoe around these issues and it's like that could be costly.

Speaker 2: 29:08

Yes, yes, definitely. There are situations where you can also ask yourself why your cat is doing something. So, when you have the time to, when it's not in an emergency situation where you have to stop a behavior right there, and then you can ask yourself, and you should ask yourself why and this comes back to the empathy concept that we were talking about at the beginning. So why are they, for example, jumping on the kitchen counter? And you know why is this so interesting to them? I told them that the stove is hot and you know and you think, oh, the day you burn your paws, you'll see you won't do this again. But actually you want to ask yourself why. What is about the kitchen counter that is so mesmerizing and so interesting? And when you understand that maybe they want a vantage point, or they want to be away from a dog or from another cat that wants to eat their food so there are so many or they want to look outside the window because that's maybe the only spot where they can get a good visual of the garden with the birds flying. So every, every situation has their why. So there is a why behind whatever your cat is doing, and you really want to understand what it is. Because once you understand why and what it is that interests them and makes them do something, then you can modify that behavior by providing an alternative. So it is not a matter of obedience and disobedience, but it's a matter of creating a compromise, providing an alternative and saying, okay, this is not allowed. However, that is allowed and you just obtain the same thing that you wanted when you jumped up here.

Speaker 2: 30:54

So I can give you, for example, in the kitchen counter example, you can provide a perch that is next to the kitchen counter and that is where the cat gets rewarded and they get raised and petted or whatever works for the cat in question.

Speaker 2: 31:10

But yes, that can be a great alternative and then when they are on the counter, they do not get the reward. You can just place your cat down and ignore so that they understand that they have to jump on that alternative perch to get the reward and to get the praise and whatever goes with it, and that perch has to answer the same need that they would get when they jump on the kitchen counter. So if it's a visual to the garden, it has to give them the visual to the garden If it's something that they want to be on, just so that they can look at what you're doing without being in the way. That's also something that can be done with the prejudice in the right position. If they want to get away from a dog or another cat, that again needs to give them that alternative so they feel that they can get away and maybe they can have their food up there. So yes, just find why something is happening and then we can work on how to change things around.

Speaker 1: 32:11

That's absolutely perfect. It's so interesting because we have this zillion dollar pet products industry and we spend so much time and money buying toys, buying treats, buying costumes, buying gifts. When extending the gift of understanding and beginning with an awareness that this is not about me, it's not to annoy me, it's not to inconvenience me, it's not to stress me out, this is about you trying to communicate with me using the tools that you have. That's where the work that you and I do can be vital as well, and I want to encourage you, as you're listening today or as you're watching over on YouTube, to always start any question, any frustration, any problem quote, unquote problem reframe it as an opportunity to learn and begin by establishing why and begin with the assumption and this is quite rare if you've been listening to the podcast for a while.

Speaker 1: 33:10

I don't often recommend making assumptions, but this is a good place to do it. Always begin with the assumption that your cat or your dog or your bird or your animal they have a reason, just like when you do something, you have a reason. You might not be consciously aware of it, but if you trace it back far enough, somewhere along the line there was a reason for why you do, and that's why, when we come up against things that we do and we say, well, I don't know why I do it, I've just always done it, once upon a time, there was a good reason for that, and so it's really vitally important, and that's why specialists like myself and Paola are here. If you're not quite sure, or if it's lost in translation, which often happens when we have interspecies families, well, let's find out why. What the reason is will inform the solution.

Speaker 1: 33:56

It will always inform the solution and it will cut so much of the anxiety and the stress out of the process of getting to that negotiation, that compromise, that solution that works for everyone. Remembering yet again we both agreed to be here If we're still here, we both want to be here, even if it's tough. So that's the other assumption we make we're still here. When an animal doesn't want to be here, they do the same thing a human partner does they leave and then you wake up and where did they go? So if they're still here, they want to be with you, and so let's just use the tools. This is why I often say that the modern pet parent, we need a team Pet parenting or pet guardianship or animal guardianship. It's a team sport, and there have been so many developments, so many advances in consciousness and knowledge, in veterinary science, in aromatherapy, and so many complementary disciplines energy, medicine. Let's get your cat the support and the understanding that they need so that you can enjoy the heck out of each other. That's our big umbrella goal for why we do everything because they are cute and they purr and they're amazing and, in the grand scheme of things, we may have to make a few neural connections along the way. So be it. It's also going to keep our brain youthful, so that's very awesome. So I want to actually talk about the flip side of the coin here.

Speaker 1: 35:16

What often happens is that maybe there's an issue, maybe there's something going on with our cat, but we're not just this static pool of contentment and Zen calm while this is going on.

Speaker 1: 35:28

Our life is going on too.

Speaker 1: 35:30

We've got stuff that comes up and it's so easy to forget that our energetic state affects everyone around us and our non-human family members more than our human family members, because they default to that wild sensory awareness They've never lost that.

Speaker 1: 35:51

We're the only species on this planet that has at least pushed the mute button. So if you can think about just for a moment before I ask Paola this question if you can think about the last time you were in the company of someone who was just like super angry or highly anxious or just obscure for some reason, and how it was probably uncomfortable, even if you couldn't put your finger on it, have you ever just gotten a bad vibe? Or maybe your human partner or your kids or your parents or your boss is just grumpy, and how it affects you you almost can't help it. So I want to talk with you, paola, next, about how can we manage that aspect of living our lives, because what can end up happening is that what we call the S-H-I blank, blank, blank rolls downhill Before we know it, the cat's acting out, and now we've got the Tasmanian devil blowing through the house. So what are your insights on that very common interspecies family storm that can crop up?

Speaker 2: 36:54

Yes, this is not such a woo-woo concept where you think about the energy and you think how the energy affects your cats in a very ethereal way. It's actually very practical. Have to carry out something that involves an act of, for example, taking care of your cats in a practical way that creates tension in you as the cat parent and that tension is felt by your cat immediately, and then the action is not successful and you get frustrated. So let me explain. So, basically, one of the things that I do.

Speaker 2: 37:39

One of the things that I do is I teach cat parents to peel their cats and to provide care in a like what's what is called a hands-on cat care. The hands-on cat care, so all those processes that cat parents can do at home and they can they can put in place to monitor their cat's health or to take care of their cat's health, for example, without needing to go to the vet constantly, back and forth all the time, because that's also stressful and it's expensive and it's stressful. So sometimes we are in a situation where we want to provide care. This is a big passion of mine, because supplements cats are only small and a little dose of supplement or a nutritional something that they are missing. So nutraceutical herbs, supplements, whatever you want to call them a little dose of that can really go a long way. But the problem is you have to put it into the cat. You can't just buy it and then think that obviously makes a difference. So for you to be able put it into the cat, you can't just buy it and then think that obviously makes a difference. So for you to be able to put that into the cat without trauma, you need to reach a compromise and you need to cooperate, which is called the act of cooperative care, so the act of finding cooperative care.

Speaker 2: 38:55

So cooperative care starts from the principle that you can train your cat to accept the medications or the care that they need, the processes that they need to put in place in a way that is cooperative, as the word says, so that they are actually coming for meds because they are trained to accept, for example, to be familiar with syringes or peeling. So you start from a place of training and you start to train them from very simple actions up to the more complex actions gradually and they learn that there is no issue and they become really good at receiving meds and care and whatever else you need to do with them to monitor their health and then like grooming and all these things that are part of taking care of your cats on a day-to-day basis. But then there are also those situations where you are not in a position of starting from the training and going very gradually, because you are faced with a situation that is difficult or it's a health challenge, for example, and at that point you need to quite quickly get to a point of cooperation where you administer meds or you do something to your cats like, for example, fluids or other things, like if they are asthmatic, for example, and you need to teach them to receive the medicine that they need at that time through the device that helps them receiving it through the nose and they are not familiar with it. So you need to get to that cooperation pretty fast. So at that point I go by my team formula, which involves the technique that you're using, the equipment that you're using, and the attitude and the metrics. So the M is the metric, so everything that you do should be written down so that you can see a progression and you can see your data in front of you and you can collect data, which is very important. The attitude part of the team formula is what we're talking about here. So without the energy in place and without the right attitude, your cat will pick up on your energy straight away, will pick up on your tension straight away.

Speaker 2: 41:09

For the reason that we talked about before, they need to be able to pick up on subtle things, because in the wild they are prey as well as they are predators. So if there is something going on in the environment, they need to be able to pick it up immediately. So if there is something that is a threat to them. They need to be able to see it, hear it, sense it. So they call them spider senses, but actually, yes, cats are very good at that. They're so good at that.

Speaker 2: 41:38

If you approach this process with this feeling of, oh my God, I'm frightened, I don't know how to put my hands on my cat, he's going to scratch me. Or what if I put my hands in his mouth and he bites me? Or you know what if he vomits? What? If you know, if you start creating this scenario in your head and you approach this with this hesitation and this tension, it's not going to go well.

Speaker 2: 42:06

Your cat will pick it up and he or she, they will think what is going on with this person that normally is very cuddly and very nice with me and very relaxed, and all of a sudden they need to do something to me and or with me, and all of a sudden I can sense that there is something going on with them.

Speaker 2: 42:26

So I better be a bit careful to this, about this situation, and I need to maybe move away and maybe I can hide over there and wait until the storm is gone. So obviously we want to be very conscious and very aware of our feelings. So, if we go into this, I have been peeling my cats for 10 years now, constantly, every day. So five cats times five, five times a day, or you know times 10 years. You know I've peeled them a lot, but that goes with all the things that they need cutting. Know I've killed them a lot, but I that that goes with all the things that they need cutting nails, grooming, all sorts of things, bathing sometimes when they have needed it for some reason, and, yes, so this goes with everything that they need to to be done to them, and especially senior care might involve some of these processes, especially if you want to have control at home, to do it on your own and to save on stress and vet visits, et cetera.

Speaker 2: 43:23

So at that point I have had now the practice behind me where I can do it blindfolded, but I can see how a person that has never peeled their cat before, for example you see all the memes with people putting the, you know the, the armors and ready for battle and yes, it is. It is very funny. But at the same time, yes, if you approach this with that, with that in mind, obviously this is not gonna go well. So if you are feeling nervous because it's natural I started from somewhere at some point as well and I was nervous to open my cat mouth and to do things to them but yes, if you are really aware of what's happening within you, just use the pose and breathe exercise and technique. That is a grounding breathing practice that is designed to help cat guardians calm their nervous system very quickly and reset their energy before engaging with their cats in stressful moments. So you have to. It works this way you pause.

Speaker 2: 44:26

So before approaching your cat, especially in a stressful scenario like going into the carrier or administering medication, like we talked about before just take a moment to stop and check in with yourself and notice how you're feeling, and if you're tense, just take a step back and relax a second, and then you breathe and you inhale deeply through the nose, allowing your belly to expand, and then you slowly exhale through your mouth and you want to ideally keep a couple of seconds of pause even four seconds if you can when you breathe in and then, when you release and breathe out, pause for four seconds and then breathe in again and you can focus on your breath as it moves in and out for two or three times. So just do it a few times. You don't have to be there meditating for two hours. You just need to take a few breaths and calm your body down and slow your heart rate, and then you can just ground yourself and as you breathe, you gently release any tension in your body. Just visualize the tension leaving you and let your shoulder drop, relax your hands and soften your face, because cats can read your expressions as well. So visualize your feet rooted to the ground, connecting you to the earth, until you feel, and then you can approach your cat with a smiley on your face and aiming for the best possible scenario and outcome. And if that scenario or outcome doesn't happen immediately. You can try again next time and you can let it go because you don't want to chase your cat down or, you know, completely traumatize your cat.

Speaker 2: 46:05

You want to find a compromise in this, but this simple grounding technique really helps reset your energy and brings you back to a calmer, more centered state, which is so important in these cases. So it is amazing how this small practice, if you will, can create a really big shift in how you approach your cat and how your cat sees you, because when you manage your energy and you send out like a calm, steady vibe that you know your cat will respond to, then obviously you reduce their stress and the handling becomes so much easier. Don't make it a big deal, just get it done and move on, because, yes, your cat sometimes will not like a particular thing the best, but if you do it nicely, if you do it with nonchalance and if you do it with a smile on your face quickly, swiftly and breezily, your cat will accept it and you can then move on to all other sorts of beautiful activities that in the next 99% of the time you indulge your cat with and you can play with them, cuddle them and really put an effort into making the rest of the day amazing. So you want to really be focusing on your emotional triggers and avoid being in that state of tension, because it does make a big, big difference. So, yes, build positive experiences even when you are in these situations and obviously, if you need more help, this has many ramifications.

Speaker 2: 47:35

This technique is. This is just the beginning. There are so many things that we can talk about. I'm not going to dive into all the details here because that would take all the time of the podcast. But you know there are ways to also make that medication more pleasant. You don't have to put things in your cat's mouth that are bitter or horrible. Or there are ways to make those meds more pleasant or the cutting of the nails less traumatic. So things that actually you practically can do. That's the part of the technique and the equipment that you're using. So that's another, the other part of the team formula. But in terms of attitude, that is what you want to do when you approach your cat.

Speaker 1: 48:19

in these situations, it strikes me yet again how the partner, empathic, friend and teacher model that they shared with me is so spot on.

Speaker 1: 48:29

Not only did I feel myself relaxing and slipping into a nice Zen state as you were guiding us through the breathing exercise, I'm like, oh, this works. And I had that thought, like, well, I could do this for other things that stress me out in my life as well. So our animals, by getting triggered in very understandable circumstances, they're not just communicating with us, they're not just letting us know their likes and dislikes, but they're giving us an opportunity to find a better feeling way for this particular situation and for so many other situations, whether those situations involve our cats or not. If you're out on the street somewhere, there's a real difference between getting approached by somebody who wants to mug you and getting approached by somebody who wants to give you a donut. It's like a completely different energy and we often treat ourselves like we're the mugger. We just get all discombobulated within our own energetic state. This is very personal, but for many, many, many years, I did not have any of these tools in my toolkit, which is why I feel like the work that you and I do, and definitely the journey of learning intuitive communication between species, is such a natural self-evolution program because we are the only species on this planet that feels like we have somehow made peace with being dysregulated, like we accept it as the norm, whereas our animals will fight against it with everything they've got, because they know that this is unnatural. And so this feels like the perfect moment in the podcast to invite you to share with our listeners how they can work with you. What can you offer them to return that regulation and hopefully, a little bit of sanity and perspective and a feeling of self-confidence and self-efficacy, because I feel like we want that.

Speaker 1: 50:25

I know that my clients, when they come to me for a session or to learn animal communication, that's what they really want. I want to feel like I'm doing a good job. I want my cat to know that I love them and that I'm not trying to hurt them, and that's such wisdom for somebody to be listening to an episode like today and think I want what she has, and I know that I don't have it right now, so let me go and get it. I'm not a bad person because I don't know how to get my cat to take a pill or how to get them in the carrier. That doesn't mean I'm a bad pet parent. It means I need to learn, I need to build my team and that's really what we're all about here at the podcast, which is one of the reasons I wanted you here today and it's why I refer people to you.

Speaker 1: 51:10

So if you could give us I know you've got so much for listeners who maybe imagine they're totally new, like I was when Momo came into my life by getting trapped in our garage and I was like, oh my God, which end of the cat is up? I grabbed the wrong end. I was trying to trap him as a kitten. I didn't even know how to hold a cat. So we've got those folks totally been there. I've got all of the metals and all of the scratches to prove it. Some are permanent. And then folks that are you know I'm volunteering with the cat rescue and every single cat they're at a totally different place and so many of them come into our lives and it's like they've also got their stuff. They've got their trauma. How can you just enter into these interspecies families and offer targeted support where it's needed?

Speaker 2: 51:54

Yes, no, it's a. It's a great question. I I have always tried to offer different things for different situations, because it's not always a matter of getting a coach on retainer and work for for five months, because it depends on what you have to achieve and where you are at in the journey as well. So I offer mainly three kind of things. So the first it depends on how complex is the situation that you want to resolve or you are facing and how quickly you need a solution for it. So obviously you can't resolve certain things immediately. They always need a certain situation, even though you want them urgently solved. But sometimes you have to give the time to do a bit of detective work and obviously allow your cat to change certain things so that they learn a different behavior or their health becomes improved. So, yes, you need to give it a bit of time in most cases, but the way you want a solution, that is the urgency that I'm talking about here. So how, how urgent and how simple or how non-urgent and how complex the situation is. So basically, I, when they are, uh, when someone needs and you know, needs support, and it depends where they're at, obviously in their journey with the cats, as I mentioned before. So one one is when they have an urgent but a simple issue. Then there is.

Speaker 2: 53:29

I offer a service, which is a very agile service, which is called the Quick Access Support Chat, where it's like a Voxer or a Messenger-based consultation, where a cat guardian can reach out and get professional advice quickly without the need for a full consultation of four months and months of working together, and it's a great way to get answers and guidance that don't break the bank and doesn't break the bank and, at the same time, you get what you need quickly and you can implement it straight away. So this is ideal for situations that are fairly simple. So one topic and something that you want to clarify or you want to tweak food choices, diets, diet advice, things like this, or, for example, a behavior that you are like in cat and cat interaction. You want to clarify some things. Then, when you go into a non-urgent situation, but guardians want a bit of more ongoing education, a bit more long-term, and they want to tackle several things little things, but they are not in an urgency, that this is not an emergency as in like I really, really need to tackle this right now you can see that you have a few things that you want to tweak, or you have a behavior you want to change and you have the time to change it, and then in that case I have a beautiful community which is a lovely, affordable community support and it's called my Holistic Club membership. And this is ideal for these situations because, as I said, it's affordable and it's interactive. It's in a group, it's in a group setting, but there are live calls and there is a library of holistic training materials that people can turn to whenever they need. And it's really perfect for cat parents that want to deepen their knowledge and have a trusted place to ask questions along the way.

Speaker 2: 55:24

And they do get a lot of support, even on specific situations. So, for example, I have cat parents joining this space when they have a cat that urinates inappropriately. So instead of having a very expensive one-on-one consultation with a coach and then they have to wait until they have a follow-up and then they are completely on their own, in this case we can work together in a more relaxed manner because, again, it's a very affordable membership, but at the same time they can come to me with questions and they can tweak what they're doing and I can advise them on what to use in terms of herbal supplements or environmental changes that need to be done. I can ask more questions to dive in a little bit more deeply about why this behavior is happening. If we need more tests, I can advise them to get the test. They can come back to me with the test done and the results so I can really help them on a more long-term basis where it's not just a place where they can learn things, it's also a place where they can get the support that they need, and they know that, bit by bit, step by step, we're going to go a long way.

Speaker 2: 56:32

So we are going to tackle those behaviors that are bothering them, or those things that, health-wise, are affecting their cats, and we can tackle them, whether it is allergies or, as I said before, behaviors like inappropriate urination or cut to cut introduction. So these are things that they can do in a group setting through direct support, because I answer them very. I give them very complete answers one on one in the post, but they are in a group setting, so, and they can also come to the calls, obviously, to have a conversation face-to-face. And then we have those situations where there are more urgent and more complex cases, if you will. So this is the ideal thing for this is the VIP wellness support service that I offer, and this is more for guardians that need a direct, hands-on support because maybe their cat is facing a more serious health or behavior challenge and this requires, say, for example, ongoing attention, and also when they don't want to be completely alone. So they're going through a process, they are getting medication, they want maybe to have a second opinion or have a bit of a supportive person on the other side that helps them through the challenge, because sometimes these situations are very stressful People still need to go to work, people still need to make it happen, and it is difficult sometimes.

Speaker 2: 57:55

And, yes, when they need some support or they need to put together a bit of a protocol and then they need to implement it, giving it to their cats, and this is ideal because we can really talk every day with each other. They have direct access to me and there is we work together for at least eight weeks where we can really develop and transform, put together some support that they really need and transform the situation by giving them a chance to actually make things better, improve and support their cats and improve their health and improve things as they are when they come to me. So this is another thing that I offer and I think for certain cases like, for example, if a cat guardian is facing a diagnosis of cancer, that is a bit more complex, we need to put together quite a few things. There are so many things that somebody can do that don't involve you shoving down your cat's throat things and are going for heavy, heavy duty sort of treatments. You can also do so many other things, but there are therapies that you can put in place, but this all takes a little bit of time to put them in place.

Speaker 2: 59:02

To discuss what is best yes, so this needs a little bit more discussion, even things that are, say, for example, I see a lot of cats with pancreatitis. So we discuss things and I check the results, I help them reading what's happening and I really follow them through the journey of starting to change, one thing at a time, because we know, even with our health, if we are in a certain way and we decide on the first of the year to just become the healthiest person ever and to exercise all of a sudden 20 hours a day and etc. It doesn't usually happen or it doesn't really stick, because the best is to change one thing at a time. And when you're involved in hands-on cat care that needs to be put in place and you want to help your cat face those challenges supportively and effectively, then there are certain things to put in place and it's best to put in place one by one and start to gather the resources that you need one by one. And this is why this support is a bit more direct, if you want, because I can actually follow them through the process of transforming the situation into a better one.

Speaker 2: 1:00:12

Of course, and a part of this support is they get access to my signature course. People can also get into my signature course on its own, so they can get the course and do it on their own. And the signature course really is there to help them with all those processes they can do at home. So it teaches them about measuring blood pressure at home with their cats, so that they don't have to go to the vets all the time just to measure the blood pressure. Plus, the blood pressure is one of those things that when you go to the vets, because of the stress that is involved, it's difficult to read it properly and you have to go many times to make an average.

Speaker 2: 1:00:47

And yes, because there is this thing that is called situational high blood pressure, which comes from the stress that the cat is, say, facing when they go to the vets.

Speaker 2: 1:00:56

And so learning to do all these things and reading and running a urinalysis at home and many more things all these things that you can do at home save you money in the long run and it puts you in a situation of also feeling that you're actually doing something very practical for your cat and it just gives you a lot of peace of mind, because there's nothing worse than sit there and feel completely helpless and like you have nobody to call or nobody to ask a question. You have no support and all you have is the directions from maybe your vet and your cat is not well and all of a sudden you feel pushed into a corner because you need to make the decision or you don't know if your cat is not doing well or if he can't recover. There are so many situations where you just feel helpless and it's horrible, it's horrible to be told there's nothing we can do and you just don't have any options.

Speaker 2: 1:01:59

So I like to offer something. Whether somebody needs quick advice or ongoing community support, or maybe in-depth one-on-one guidance, then this is a place for them to get all the help that they need in different ways, depending on what they prefer and what their lifestyle is like. And yes, so this is my way to help them in different ways depending on where they are and what they need.

Speaker 1: 1:02:24

Absolutely, and it's so well thought out and really considerate of all of the different types of challenges that we face as interspecies families, especially today, with the worldwide web and too much information does not necessarily equate to better information or accurate information we can save ourselves a lot of time, energy and stress simply by just heading right to a trusted team member. I'm a huge advocate for that from the start, and you are also offering our listeners a very special, special, special, super secret offer to get 50% off of your membership just for listening to let's Talk to Animals listening to our episode today. So I will put that link in the show notes. Paola theholisticcatspecialistcom, it's been such a joy and honor. Thank you for taking time out of your day. I know you have a full, all paws on deck daily routine with your own feline family and, of course, your clients and your members. So thank you so much for your time and your wonderful positive energy and outlook on what's possible for interspecies families that include a feline, especially, and for those of you who are listening or watching. I'm super grateful for you.

Speaker 1: 1:03:36

If you enjoyed today's episode, please do leave us. A five-star review is what Petal suggests. Of course, be guided by your heart, but that definitely makes her day and mine. I love to know that you're listening and you have questions or suggestions. I actually source quite a number of my podcast topics from you, because this is our podcast together. It's not just mine, it's not just yours, it is ours. It's a forum where we can talk through things that are affecting your interspecies, family questions, things you're curious about. You can always find me over at animallovelanguagescom, you can find Paola at theholistichatspecialistcom, and every two weeks you can find a fresh new episode of let's Talk to Animals over at letstalktoanimalsbudsproutcom.

Speaker 2: 1:04:22

It's been a joy on my side as well and thank you for the work that you do, because your stories and your gracious way of delivering messages about animals and on animals is just amazing. So I just on a personal level, as a human being, but also on a professional level I just respect you so much and I thank you so much for having me today. It was really, really my pleasure to be here.

Speaker 1: 1:04:52

Oh, my goodness. Well, thank you. That just made my day, fills my heart with joy. And if you're still listening, if you're still hanging in here with us, I will be hopping over to Paola's YouTube channel and when that goes live, I will also link that up for you in the show notes so you can follow her over on YouTube and listen to us chat more and continue the conversation over there. So already, my dear one, so good to connect with you today, our dear listeners, thank you so much for being a part of the animal love languages and let's talk to Animals community. You are valued, treasured and loved and I look forward to welcoming you back in two weeks for a fresh new episode. Okay, all of our love. Bye for now.